URGENT: WEATHER MESSAGE

Washington Post
Wednesday, August 2, 2006; Page C01

STYLE WEATHER SERVICE BALTIMORE MD/WASHINGTON DC 1140 PM EDT TUE AUG 1 2006 . . . EXCESSIVE HEAT WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 6 PM EDT THURSDAY . . .

VERY HOT CONTINENTAL AIR MASS FROM THE PLAINS WILL CONTINUE TO BUILD SLOWLY TO THE EAST . . . EXPECT CONDITIONS TO BE HOT. DAMN HOT. JUNGLE HOT. SATAN-IN-A-SPEEDO HOT. ANGRY-GOD HOT. PETS MAY OPENLY CURSE. PEDESTRIANS MAY COMBUST. HAVE A NICE DAY.

-- John Newland